Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

We have had a wonderful holiday with family and friends.

Katie and Emily came home for Christmas.

We saw "The Nutcracker" on December 21st with Bryan's mom and Sarah. We came home afterwards to eat chili and decorate Christmas cookies.

Hunter arrived that evening and spent a few days with us before heading to Paducah for Christmas. We had my parents for a turkey dinner with the trimmings the Monday before Christmas.

We went to church on Christmas Eve and had 23 family members together - I think this is my dad's favorite part of the holiday. We went to my parents' home Christmas Eve with my four sisters and their families. "Santa" (my dad) made an appearance. We had two new sons-in-law - Shad Lacefield (Whitney Murphy) and Paul Disney (Sarah Veal). My niece, Jessica (Murphy) Guthrie is due any day, so there will be some excitement this new year!

Christmas morning Paul and Sarah joined us for gifts and breakfast in their PJs. We headed to the Veal family Christmas at Eric and Denise's at 1:00 and back to my parents for dinner at 5:00.

The day after Christmas we met Paul and Sarah for a movie.

Saturday night Hunter returned from Paducah. He flew out today to Southern California to resume training.

We saw "White Christmas" at Derby Dinner today with all the girls, Paul and Jean (Bryan's mom). It was nice to just hang out at home tonight.

Emily will be here for a week, and Katie has two weeks before she goes back to school. We are planning a movie (or two), some shopping or lunch out, and just some time together.

I hope your Christmas has been a good one, and that you have a wonderful 2009!

Jan

Good News!

My MRI came back clear!!! I am cancer-free.
I had my last appointment with my plastic surgeon yesterday except for checkups (he will follow me for several years) and I went and bought a small cross necklace to commemorate the end of treatments, procedures, etc.
Tomorrow will be 18 months since my diagnosis and 17 months since my surgery.
It has been a long road, but God has seen me through, and He will continue to watch over me as I regain strength and have less pain.
My arm is still in compression, but I have noticed great improvement, and I am encouraged. I have talked to women who wore compression for a year or two and were still able to shed the sleeve at some point, so I am still asking God for that if it is His will.
My finger also seems to be improving after the steroid shot - another answer to prayer.
Katie came home from college last night, and we had dinner together.
Today she and I went shopping, and then Sarah joined us tonight for dinner. They are laughing and talking together in Katie's room right now, and I feel so blessed to have my family.
Emily is in Nashville with friends, but will come to the house Saturday for the holiday.
Unfortunately, my dad did not pass his swallow test yesterday. There is a shock treatment that they can do that may enable him to drink clear liquids. I think he will pursue it after the holiday. He is still processing the test result. I will keep you posted on his progress.
Jan

Prayers, Thanks!

I had my brain MRI today. I will get results in two days. Please pray that I have a clean brain.
I have also developed a "trigger finger", which I think is a rather violent name for a finger that bends and won't straighten back out by itself. It is the middle finger on my good (left) hand, so I would really like for it to work correctly. I had a shot of steroids into the joint today. It is supposed to behave differently in three weeks. If not, they perform a minor hand surgery to solve the problem. I would LOVE to avoid any surgery right now, so I am asking that you pray that the steroids will work.
My dad has a swallow test again tomorrow, so I am also asking for prayer that he will pass his test.
I hope that each of you are enjoying the holidays, and taking time to be with friends and family and reflecting on the meaning of Christmas in all the hustle and bustle of preparations. I have enjoyed time with my ladies' Bible study group, evenings out with Bryan and a great couple (Bard and Sheri) that we have been spending lots of time with, and some time with my daughters lately. I also am enjoying the scent of a real tree and homeade cookies. I have been able to do some baking again this year, and I love to do it.
I will probably write again before December 24th, but Merry Christmas anyway!!!
Jan

A New Adventure

Not mine, but Hunter's (Emily's boyfriend). He is in Southern California today for his first full day of training for the combine and the NFL draft. We will all miss him here in Louisville - he has become like part of the family. I know that he will be seeking Christian fellowship out there, so I am asking for prayer that he will find other Christians to worship and hang out with. He is really excited about a new challenge - the guy likes adventure.
I also have the date for my brain MRI - next Tuesday, December 16th. I will post when I have results.
Hope you are having a great Christmas season.
Jan

Update on My Eye

I met with my new family practitioner today. She is young and very proactive. I discussed the situation with my eye with her, and she is ordering an MRI of my brain for me before Christmas, so I can rest easy and enjoy the holiday with my family. I didn't know what a relief this would be to me until she suggested it. She also did some blood work to see if there is any other reason for my fatigue other than what I have been through the last 16 months. I will post the results here when I know something. Thanks for prayers!
Jan

My Eye

The PA said that the oncologist would call if I was to do anything further, and she has not called, so I will continue checking my eye daily with the chart the optometrist gave me. Thanks for your prayers and concern.
Jan

Update

Bryan has shingles. We finally went to the ER Friday, and he was diagnosed. Medication is helping, and he is probably about halfway through the outbreak. He has never had this before, so we had no idea what it was.
I did not get a call from my onc on Wednesday. I will call tomorrow to see whether or not I should see an eye specialist. I have calmed down. I do not want to live in fear, but sometimes it creeps up on me.
We had a great Thanksgiving with both families, and Emily and Katie spent the weekend here. They left not too long ago. Katie dropped Emily off at her apartment on Katie's way back to school.
Hope your Thanksgiving was a good one!
Jan

This May Be Nothing, But....

I would appreciate your prayers. I went yesterday to have my eyes checked and to get a new pair of glasses. As part of the exam, the doctor dilated my pupils to look inside my eye. He told me that my left eye has a couple of floaters, which many people have. I have never been aware of them. He also told me that I have some edema around the macula, which could be an indicator of the beginning of macular degeneration. The part that concerned him was that I only had this condition in the left eye, whereas people who have macular degeneration have the same thing occur in both eyes. He then proceeded to tell me that cancer can spread from the breast to the eye, and it usually means the brain is involved, too. He gave me a piece of graph paper to test my eyes daily and told me to see him if I noticed any blurriness or deviations in the graph. Needless to say, I came home in tears and put in a call to my oncologist. The PA called me today. She said that it does happen, but it is extremely rare. The oncologist will contact me tomorrow to let me know if I should do anything else. I think I will ask about seeing an eye specialist just to relieve my fears. I deal often with a fear of recurrence anyway, without such news.
I also would like for prayer for Bryan. He has had severe muscle pain up his neck to the top of the back of his head for a couple of days. He says he will see a doctor tomorrow if the pain doesn't subside.
I hope you all have a blessed Thanksgiving with the people you love. I am thankful for those of you who keep up with the blog and offer up prayers. It means more to me than you can know.
Jan

Another Celebration!

Last night, Sunday, November 23rd, I was given a "retirement from homeschooling" party! The party was hosted by a great friend, Denise Manias, with help from some of the other homeschool moms. We celebrated in one of the most beautiful rooms in the church. There were flowers, candlelight, and music. The decorations were a school theme, of course, and the food was delicious. I got to see so many moms that I had not seen in a while. My mom and dad came, as did Bryan, Sarah, Emily and Hunter, and my sister, Becky, with Zack's girlfriend, Kinsie. Two of my sister-in-laws, Denise and Sarah, who also homeschool. were there. After visiting and dinner, several people took turns toasting me with stories and memories. I had a few things to say, too! It was an unforgettable evening, and I felt humbled to be so honored by my peers.

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

Next Wednesday, November 19th, I will be 50 years old. Last night, Saturday, November 15th, my family gave me a surprise party and invited my mom, dad, sisters, their children, and many of my friends. It was wonderful. I had the most beautiful cake I had ever seen. It had a Grandma Moses painting on it! The theme was The Best is Yet to Come, and Sarah framed pictures of women like Laura Ingalls Wilder and Grandma Moses, who did not start their careers until in their 60s and 70s. The party had many thoughtful touches. I feel blessed to be here and blessed to have so many people who care about me. This morning our family had breakfast together at Lynn' Paradise Cafe with a couple of Katie's friends, Olivia and Lauren, before they headed back to Anderson. It was a great weekend.

Two Prayer Requests

My dad had another swallow test last Friday to determine if he could begin to drink clear liquids with his meals. He did not pass. He was told that he could repeat the test in 6 weeks, and that he needed to increase his therapy sessions to three a day in hopes of strengthening his throat muscles. He was also told that sometimes people don't get this ability back. Needless to say, he was very discouraged. Please pray that he will heal enough to pass the next test, so that he can have a cup of coffee, a coke, tea, or a Frosty! Ice cream counts as a liquid, because it melts in the mouth.
My sister, Becky, went to the ER this morning, and they determined that she needs gall bladder surgery. She will be added to the end of her surgeon's schedule tomorrow. Please pray for a successful surgery and a speedy recovery.
Thanks so much for your prayers!
Jan

Photos from the Pumpkin Patch/Halloween Party

This is Paul, Sarah, Bryan, me and Emily at Gallreins.

This is the whole gang at my sister's. None of my girls were able to make it, but I enjoyed being with my family.

We had a great time at my sister's last night. Notice the "woman" in the blonde wig and the poodle skirt? That is my dad, who was in ICU two months ago. I think he's bouncing back! (And I was glad to loan him the wig I wore during my treatments.)

Updates

Sorry I haven't posted for a couple of weeks. I am able to be a little more active, but then I just crash, which means I haven't spent much time at my computer.
Today has been a couch day - Mondays usually are after a busy weekend.
The weekend before last Emily spent the night with me while Bryan was away at a men's retreat. We had dinner together and went to watch a friend of Emily's try on wedding gowns for her July wedding.
Emily, Bryan and I went to watch football on Saturday, and then on Sunday, our whole family (minus Katie and my niece, Whitney) went to the pumpkin patch at Gallrein's. My dad was able to come, and he even rode in the wagon behind the tractor out to the patch. He did not get out and pick a pumpkin, but just the ride was a huge deal. He carries oxygen, but manages it very well. Afterwards, we went to my parents' to roast hot dogs and carve pumpkins up in the field. Dad rode up on his tractor and sat by the fire with us. He seemed to have a great time, and was able to eat.
This past Thursday Katie came home for fall break, which was a real treat. Our immediate family, along with Paul's mom, Nancy, went to see "Pride and Prejudice" at Actors Friday night. Emily and Katie spent the night together here and caught up with each other. After a big breakfast Saturday, we enjoyed the win over South Florida at Papa John's and joined friends and some family at the Outback. Yesterday Katie returned to Anderson and I went to a tea for survivors at church.
After reading this, I understand better why I have been on the couch today. It is extremely frustrating for me, but I need to be grateful that I can rest when I need to and not fight against it.
Thanks again for cards, calls, and prayers!
Jan

Update on Dad and Me

My dad got the OK to eat real food Monday. No more purees. He is excited, but scared to eat, afraid the the food will go into his lungs. PT worked with him to strengthen the epiglottis so that food would take the right path. It sounded a lot like vocal exercises. I teased him that he might be able to join the choir (if you heard my dad sing, you would know how funny that is). He is still having to thicken his drinks with a substance that makes liquid the consistency of honey, and he says it changes the taste of everything. He can sip water, but only 30 minutes after a meal - no risk of washing anything down. I think he is a walking miracle! He is hoping to get off oxygen soon.
I am still dealing with fatigue and pain, but I get a little better everyday. My purse no longer looks too heavy to pick up, and I am able to rest up and go to the football games. We are following UL football this year, even some away games, as Emily dates Hunter Cantwell (QB) and they are very serious about one another. I got a third haircut yesterday, which is so fun now. I can also shop some and do some things around the house. I take nothing for granted. A trip to the grocery is exciting. Thanks for prayers!
Jan

Updates!

We traveled to Memphis with Emily Friday to watch the Cards play. We had dinner with the Cantwells, Hunters' parents, and the McElroys, Hunter's grandparents, which was nice. We also stayed in the same hotel and had breakfast together, which stretched into a two-hour visit! It was good to sit and relax and talk, which we don't get to do on game nights.
The Cards won, but Hunter is still healing from the sprained ankle he sustained a couple of weeks ago. We are praying for speedy healing - there are no more weekends off to recover.
Saturday on our way home we dropped Emily off at a church in Nashville, where she is doing a mission trip over fall break.
Katie made the dance team at Anderson. We will go to see her dance for the first time on November 1st. I am looking forward to the visit. We have not been to Anderson since we took her back in August.
Sarah is painting her and Paul's new home room by room - I think three are finished as of this writing.
I did well traveling, but I am pretty tired this evening. I am looking forward to a quiet week ahead.
My dad has a test tomorrow, called a video swallow test, which looks at how well his epiglottis is healing. He has been doing therapy like crazy to get his swallowing muscles back to normal, which would allow him to eat a wider range of foods. Please pray that he "passes" the test, so that he can begin to eat more normally.
I still receive cards and e-mails of encouragement almost daily - thanks so much! It will be a long time before I feel like myself again, so every bit of encouragement and prayer helps.
Jan

Dad's Feeding Tube

My dad got his feeding tube out! He is really working at his recovery, doing everything they ask of him and more. Mom is crucial to his recovery - if it weren't for all that she does daily, he would have to be in a nursing home right now. It's a good thing that he married a nurse!
Jan

My Dad is Home!

My dad came home Friday. I went to see him today. It is a miracle that he is doing all that he is doing only one month from his surgery.
He is on oxygen, not portable, but stationed in the middle of their home, with a 45 foot tubing. He has already walked up to his garage behind the house twice to check on his cars and fill the bird feeder.
He still has his feeding tube, but he is eating well so he may be able to get rid of it soon. Mom has an approved list of foods, and she cooks and mashes things up so that he can eat them. He had chicken and dumplings, lima beans, and a baked sweet potato while I was there, and he ate some of everything.
While Mom ran some errands, Dad and I sat out on their deck overlooking the lake and watched the turtles on the log. The afternoon was just beautiful.
Dad and I shared with each other a little about being "survivors", and about how blessed we were to both still be here.
News on the girls -
Katie loves Anderson! She got a good score on her first anatomy and physiology exam last week, and Friday she made the dance team.
Sarah and Paul came yesterday and moved the rest of Sarah's things and the wedding gifts to their new home. Emily was also at the house doing laundry and we all had dinner together. We talked with Katie on the phone, so it was almost like everyone was here.
Emily has a tough academic semester, but she is hanging in there.
Her boyfriend, Hunter, was injured in the game Friday night - he sustained a sprained ankle. We are praying that he will heal quickly and be in shape for the next game in two weeks.
I am gaining strength daily, but the pain is still difficult. I am not sure how soon I will be off the pain meds, which is frustrating for me. I am doing some housework now and taking care of more at home, so Bryan is able to focus more on his work and teaching his discipleship group at church.
We are both working through the adjustment to the empty nest!
Jan

I'm Back!

I haven't written for awhile.
I am gaining strength daily, but STILL dealing with a lot of pain. I am trying to wean off the heavy meds, but I have my ups and downs.
The wedding was beautiful and the newlyweds returned from their honeymoon safely.
Katie is enjoying Anderson, and Emily is busy with her senior year at UL.
Our main concern right now is my dad - he is still in rehab at BHE, and it is uncertain when he will be able to come home. He will undergo a "scraping" of his lungs this week and have a bedsore attended to surgically while he is sedated - "twilight sleep", not the heavy stuff. Mom called me today on the way to the hospital - Dad accidentally pulled out his feeding tube, and they were going to have to put it back in. He will come home with a feeding tube and on oxygen, with a home health care nurse to come daily. He can only eat some pureed food, and he cannot drink anything - it could go into his lungs - so he puts ice cubes in his mouth and has to spit them back out. Please pray that he will be able to eat again, and that eventually he can get rid of the feeding tube and the oxygen.
Please pray also for my mom. Both of their lives have changed so much. I am praying that they will resume a quality of life together.
I have been having moments of finding myself overwhelmed with too many changes - empty nest, my dad, my mother-in-law (Alzheimers), and my frustations with pain and fatigue - but I am trying to take it a day at a time. Thanks for continued prayers.

More on Dad/Wedding

Dad has moved to rehab, but not to Oaklawn. He is at BHE rehab, because he needs more rehab than Oaklawn offers. He has to have speech and physical therapy, I guess as a result of being sedated for a week and having so many tubes in his throat. He did start on pureed food by mouth today, but will still have the feeding tube for awhile. His stomach is much smaller, and he was amazed at how quickly he was full.
Things are coming together for Saturday, but right now the forecast looks a little rainy for an outdoor wedding! We are hoping that it will change before the weekend. I am looking forward to seeing Katie for the first time since we left her at Anderson - she comes home Friday.
I have felt better yesterday and today, but tonight I am fading fast!

Update on Dad

Dad is improving everyday. I am not allowed to go see him, however, because he has C-Dif, the same type of colitis that landed me in the hospital back in July. He is still being fed through a tube in his stomach, which will continue until his epiglottis starts working again. It stopped as a result of multiple intubations and the respirator, but therapists are working with him to regain that reflex. Otherwise what goes down goes into his lungs. No Frosty yet! He has been moved to a regular floor, and by the end of this week or early next week he is supposed to move to Oaklawn. He may be there for about three weeks or so. Thanks so much for prayers for him.
I am about the same, trying to wean off pain meds, but still having pain. Please pray that I will be able to do this, so that I can start driving again. I lost my chauffeur when Katie moved away!
Jan

Dad Needs Prayer for a Clear Path!

My dad failed the same test yesterday and today. They put ice chips down his throat and x-rayed what happened. If the ice chips had gone through his digestive system without a hitch, he would be able to get his Frosty! This was not the case. The ice went into his lungs instead, and he did not even feel it. The nurses had to suction out his lungs. They are not sure how long it will be before he can start eating. They are feeding him through a tube into his stomach, and he is very frustrated by this. Please pray that he will pass the test soon. I don't understand it, but it seems to be a case of healing rather than a surgical correction.
I am taking it easy this week. I am so emotionally drained with my dad, the upcoming wedding, Katie's move to Anderson, my fatigue and pain, that I think it has physically drained me as well. It's OK for me to rest a lot, as I am home alone during the day and nothing much is required of me, but I am hoping to feel more energetic. I am going to the hospital almost every evening, and I am doing the things that are required of me, such as a dance lesson to prep for the wedding, going to the ballgame on Saturday, etc., so I am not a total slug! I am asking God to show me what is the proper balance for me between rest and activity.
Again, thanks for your prayers for our family.

Rip Van Winkle is awake! (previously posted as Rumplestiltskin - I do need rest!)

Yesterday, Wednesday, September 3, my dad was taken off the respirator and he opened his eyes and spoke. When I visited last night, he was full of himself! His speech is unclear due to all the tubes that have been in his throat - some remain - and he is weak, so he speaks quietly, but he was joking with us and being Dad! He first said he wanted to go home, then he said he wanted a Frosty (his favorite treat) and an Etch a Sketch (so that he could write to us as he has difficulty speaking).
Mom called today and said they actually stood him up by his bed for a few minutes! I would not have thought that to be possible a few days ago.
His condition is still very serious, but he has made great improvements.
Thanks for continued prayers!
Jan

My Dad

My dad has been in the ICU on a respirator since his surgery. He has a multitude of other tubes - I can't tell you how many. He is heavily sedated and does not wake or speak to us. He has had complications with his kidneys and his lungs - both seem to be resolved. My mom is staying in a small private room there for families of ICU patients. My sisters have taken turns sitting with her. I only go briefly because of the risk of another infection. The doctors are telling us this will be a long haul. Please pray for total healing for my dad, and for quality of life. It would be great if there could be some improvement before Sarah's wedding on the 13th, but we have to be patient.
On another note, Katie is doing well at Anderson. She is making friends and looking forward to class on Tuesday.
Sarah and Paul closed on their home Friday, and moved some things in on Saturday.
I am gaining some strength, but still dealing with quite a bit of pain.
Thanks for prayers for our family!
Jan

My Dad's Surgery

My dad will have his surgery to remove the esophagial cancer on Thursday, August 28th. It is a five-hour surgery. They will remove the cancer and then most of his esophagus, leaving a small amount at the top. They will then stretch his stomach to make a new esophagus and join it at the top. It is a very complex surgery. Please pray that his lungs will remain clear, that no pneumonia will set in, that he will not need chemo or radiation, and that both of my parents and all of our family will have peace and be comforted throughout the surgery and the recovery. Thanks so much for your prayers!

I've Been Busy!

I am still struggling with pain and fatigue, and I typically am on the couch until noon or so, but I have been able to do some things that I really wanted to be a part of.
I was able to go to Sarah's shower on August 17th and had a great time visiting with some homeschool moms I had not seen in a while.
I have gone to dinner with Bryan a couple of times and to my parents' to visit with some relatives from out of town.
Yesterday, I got a haircut (my wedding haircut) and even had some highlights put in, which make me look more like me. I can' tell you how many times I've seen people out in public who don't recognize me because my hair came in so differently - dark and curly. I'm hoping the highlights will make me more recognizable, and they really gave me a lift - looks aren't everything, but there's something about having hair that you like...
Today was a big event - I was able to do some college shopping with Katie, which meant alot to both of us. We also took Katie's friend, Whitney, so when I had to go sit and rest somewhere, Katie still had a buddy to shop with. I think Katie has almost everything she needs now; it is just a matter of packing it and taking it to Anderson. I am very excited for her, but I will miss her SOOOO much. No matter how old she is, she will always be "my baby"!
Your cards, calls, e-mails, meals, gift cards for restaurants have meant so much to me. It is so comforting to know that so many care and are praying. Hopefully, it is all downhill from here. I know that I will have to be patient, but I am seeing small changes everyday.

A Good Report!

I got the report back and my lungs are cancer-free!!! Praise God!!! I am getting a little stronger each day, and this is a great weight lifted off my mind.

I Made the Shower!

I made Sarah's shower, and it was a great day. My niece, Jessica, and her husband, Jarrod, a chef, hosted the shower in the backyard of their new home in New Albany. The food was delicious, the weather was perfect, and the Disney, Veal, and Speas women all enjoyed the afternoon together.
Sarah and Paul were very excited about the things they received for their new home together.
Sarah has another shower next Sunday that I am determined to make. I also plan to try to shop some with Katie for school as I am able.
My biggest difficulty is sleeplessness - I just can't stay pain free through the night, and I also think meds are contributing to the problem. I have the craziest dreams. I am very fatigued through the day. The anxiety attacks seem to be getting better, thank goodness! Bryan has been taking me out in the evenings just to ride around in the car to help relieve the depression.
We never received a lung report - I have to think that is good news. I don't think they would make me wait so long if there was a problem.
My dad has been given a clear lung report, and they will call tomorrow to get him on the surgery schedule.
Jan

Emily's Birthday/Update

Emily had a great 21st birthday - she received shopping $$$ from Hunter, her friends all bought her gifts, and they had a pool party. They are also taking her to dinner tonight. Sarah baked an awesome cake - Death by Chocolate - and Katie and Whitney Ott collected 21 small gifts for Emily to help her celebrate the big day. I even went with the family to Applebees for her birthday dinner, although I was pretty much just propped up in the booth.

I am feeling a little better, just extremely weak, and still having pain. I have difficulty sleeping at night, and usually end up on the couch. I am also having some trouble emotionally - I am taking about 14 different meds for the colitis, and I think they are contributing to anxiety attacks/tears that I have usually in the mornings. I will be glad to be finished with the meds - hopefully I will get some emotional stability back.
We have not received a report on my lungs yet - I am hopeful that they are cancer-free!
Thanks for cards, calls, meals, etc. I am hoping to have the strength to go to my daughter's wedding shower tomorrow.
Jan

Update

I am home, but extemely weak and in pain. I am also struggling emotionally - wanting to be well to take Katie to school, to go to Sarah's wedding. Emily turns 21 tomorrow - I can't make a big celebation for her. It is hard not to be the mom I was. I am awaiting test results on my lungs - we should know by the end of the week. I know it is all in God's hands - it is just hard to hand it all over sometimes when I want to be the wife and mom that I once was.
No date on Dad's surgery yet. He is very positive and upbeat about everything.
Jan

Hospital Update

I am still here - I think it is twelve days now - in isolation. I am really learning to be content in my situation, although I will welcome going home. I just want to be well before I leave!
My dad is clearing his lungs for the surgery - no date set yet. I would love prayers for the both of us!
Jan

Hospital update/update on Dad

Thanks for prayers! My husband brought me my computer for a little while on his way to work.

I am still in the hospital, but making progress. I may get to go home mid-week, but the docs all sound "iffy" about this. I want to stay unil there is no chance of a relapse. I am learning that we all need to run the race set before us, and for some reason, this is my race for now.

My dad has to clear up a lung infection, and then they will schedule surgery. His odds of coming through the surgery are better now - about 90%.


Thank you for praying.

Jan

Updates - Please Pray!

My dad had to undergo more tests, so his plan won't be in place until Friday. Thanks to so many of you for asking.

I have been in the hospital (BHE) in isolation since last Saturday with no end in sight. I caught a bacterial infection called C-Dif during my last surgery a few weeks ago. I am bloated beyond belief, and my intestines are sloughing off all the bad bacteria - not a pretty sight. I am extremely weak and feverish. After this process I will need to grow all new bacteria. They are telling me it will be months before I am back to normal. Katie leaves for school August 27, and Sarah is getting married Sept. 13. I am going to have to drop my library science classes for fall, and reapply for another semester.

I will just have my computer for this evening, so I may not be able to respond for awhile. I really appreciate your prayers!!!!

Jan

Anniversary/ Prayer for my dad

This Saturday is the one year anniversary of my double mastectomy and the beginning of cancer treatments. I am recovering well from my final surgery, just extremely tired and still having some pain.
But we have been dealt another blow - my dad was diagnosed last Thursday with esophagial cancer. He has several scans tomorrow - Monday - to see if the cancer has spread - please pray for containment to the esophagus. Wednesday the doctors will present my parents with the game plan. They are discussing chemo and radiation first to shrink the tumor before surgery. My dad's lungs are compromised by emphysema (former smoker), so that is also a concern for the surgery. I will keep you posted. I am hurting so much for my dad - I almost feel like I am getting ready to go through it all again.
I did not post this earlier because my niece got married yesterday, and her parents asked that no one tell her until she returns from her honeymoon.
Thanks for prayers,
Jan

Recovery update

I went to the doctor on Monday, June 30th and he took my drains out. This was sooner than I expected. I am pleased with the results of the surgery. I can tell a big difference even with the pain. I have been out a few times - a tea in Katie's honor, a movie, dinner out - but I am SOOO tired that I am resting most of the time. It's OK - I'm giving in to it because hopefully this is the last procedure I go through and I want to make sure I have a great recovery. Also, graduation and our travels are over, so I have no deadlines for anything until Katie moves and Sarah marries. It is nice to just rest. Thanks for the e-mails, cards, prayers, etc.
My mom's recovery is going well, too. We call each other daily and compare notes.
Jan

Home and Doing Well!

My surgery went well and I am now home. I have a 3 - 4 month recovery - no lifting above 5 pounds, no strenuous exercise (I can walk), making sure everything holds together this time! I did come home with two drains, but I am not sure how long I will keep them. I see my doctor tomorrow for more info.
Thanks for your prayers.
Jan

Prayer for Surgery

This is the last night at the beachhouse, and we will travel home tomorrow. Sunday I will help Katie get ready to go on a retreat for a week with Fern Creek Christian to Myrtle Beach, and then Monday I see the doctor and prep for my surgery on Tuesday to repair my abdomen. I covet your prayers. The power of so many people praying has helped me do so many things during this past year that I didn't think I could do. Thanks so much! I will report about the surgery as soon as I am able.

Jan

Update on Dad/Beach/Mom

Several have asked about my dad, and in all the flurry of events the last few weeks, I have neglected to post an update. Dad is home, starting to feel better from the last bout of pneumonia. He felt well enough to travel to Bowling Green alone in one of his street rods for a show there. My mom felt that it was safe to leave him home alone for a week while we are at the beach. He doesn't care to come along on this beach trip - too many women - 5, and too many grandkids - 24, 20, 17, 16, 13, 9, 7, 6, 4, 3 are the ages, and there is no peace or quiet in the beach house!

I ordered a huge sun umbrella that is supposed to block 100% of the sun's rays to protect my arm, and it seems to be working. The sleeve is hot, but I try to get as close to the water as I can for the breeze, and I take a spray bottle of water to stay cool.

My big excitement for the day yesterday was that I got into the pool - I am allowed to remove the sleeve if my arm is underwater - the pressure from the water works as compression. I actually was able to swim freestyle - about six laps across the pool, not lengthwise - but it was very encouraging to me to be able to do this. I plan to begin swimming in earnest again about three months after this next surgery.
Swimming is the one exercise that can be done without the sleeve, so I plan to spend lots of time in the pool year round - it will be my exercise of choice, in addition to walking again.

Thanks for your prayers while I am traveling. I feel that I have been given a burst of energy just at the right time to do these things!

One other health note: my mom is going to have surgery on her knee the day before my surgery, so Emily will be my caretaker for this surgery. Katie will be away for the week. Please pray that Mom will have a successful surgery and quick healing, and that Emily and I will be able to handle the drains, etc. that follow my surgery. Thanks so much for many, many prayers!!!!
Jan

Graduation and Vacation in England/Scotland

Katie's graduation went well - it was really a great evening. It is hard to believe that we are finished.

Our trip to the United Kingdom was wonderful!!! I was able to keep up, and it was fun to experience it together as a family. We visited London, the Lake District, and Edinburgh.
We saw:
The Tower of London
Buckingham and Kensington Palaces
Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament
Westminster Abbey
The British Museum
The Churchill Museum and War Rooms
The London Eye
Shakespeare at the Globe (King Lear)
The National Gallery
Beatrix Potter's Hill Top Farm and the villages of Hawkshead and Windemere in the Lake District
Edinburgh Castle and the Royal Mile
Holyrood Palace and the Abbey ruins
The National Museum of Scotland
Holyrood Park
Bryan learned to drive on the left side of the road, which was very interesting.
Our favorite English meal was fish and chips.

Our one difficulty was in getting home. Our final flight from Philly to Louisville was cancelled last night, and we had to spend the night there, take an early flight this morning to DC, and then to Louisville. Our luggage did not arrive with us, so we are still waiting for that to be delivered. Other than that, it was the trip of a lifetime!!!

I will spend a week at the beach with my mom, sisters, and most of our children before my surgery on the 24th of June to repair my TRAM flap surgery. I would appreciate prayers for a successful surgery. I am hoping to shed the binder and pain medication in a couple of months.

Jan

Memorial Day weekend

Sunday I met all my family for a belated Mother's Day celebration together at Mike Linnings. I even walked down to the river! We got ice cream on the way home.
Monday all the girls came to the house. We went to the Jefferson Memorial Forest and I hiked a 1.5 mile path! I am thinking that if I can do this, I can surely do our vacation. We went to I-Hop, came home and watched an old Indiana Jones movie - The Last Crusade - and played a board game. It was lots of fun.
Today and tomorrow the focus is on graduation, and then I am leaving!
Thanks for your prayers and emails.
Jan

Prayer for Dad/Health Update for me

I'd like to ask for prayer for my dad. He has pneumonia once again, and has been hospitalized. They will run some tests on Sunday, and he has no idea when he will get to come home. This is his third bout with pneumonia this year. Please pray for healing and for comfort - he is very frustrated with his health situation.

The lump on my neck is the result of some small loose black hairs in my ear canal. I don't know how they got there - I do pull on chemo caps at home all the time because my head is cold, and I pull them way down over my ears - go figure! I am glad it is such a simple thing - I have been given ear drops to solve the problem.

Now for the exciting news - I got a haircut!!! My hair is only about an inch long, but my stylist, Terri, was able to shape it up for me so I can begin to go out without caps or my wig. It was growing haywire like baby hair, and it is the same texture. She made it look much better, and showed me how to use gel on it to give it more volume, etc. It was so fun to be back in a beauty shop, that I went today and had a pedicure with Sarah and Katie. Now that helps me to feel like a real person again!

We went to church this evening, had dinner, and went to see my dad. The weather was gorgeous, and I found myself in an attitude of gratitude for just being alive.

Grace Academy is Closed!

Today Katie finished all her work, and so our homeschool, Grace Academy, is officially closed after seventeen years of operation.
I won't put everything away for awhile. I would like to feel better, and then take my time in the fall after the wedding to sort through seventeen years of books, microscopes, etc. and the girls' binders that store work samples and photos of activities through the years. I would like to scrapbook these binders for the girls to look at when they are home. I plan to keep them here for me.:>)

I have an appointment with my oncologist tomorrow for swelling in my neck on the right side - the same size as the lymphedema. It feels like there is a goose egg in there! I am praying that this can be resolved with an antibiotic or something else that is simple, so that I can continue graduation and trip preparations.

Update and Endings

I am beginning to gain some energy, although mornings are still a struggle, and praying that I will have adequate energy for Katie's graduation and our trip to England and Scotland. If I have to rest over there, at least I am resting in a new environment, more interesting than my own couch at home.
I am also learning to deal with my arm - compression, exercises, massage, skin care -in a more day-to-day manner - it is becoming a routine part of my life for now.
My surgery is June 24th to repair my TRAM donor site (abdomen). It will take 6-8 weeks to recover, so I should be good for Katie's move to college and Sarah's wedding.
News of the girls:
Sarah continues to plan her wedding.
Emily returned safely from Greece. She had a nice surprise after she returned - she and Hunter had lunch with Brett Favre the day after her return. The girl leads a charmed life!!!
Katie had her final dance recitals this past weekend, and she danced beautifully. She plans to continue with her dancing, as Anderson has a dance minor and a dance team.
I am going through a lot of "lasts" as my body is permanently altered, and as Katie graduates, and we prepare for the empty nest this fall when Katie moves away and Sarah gets married. Emily already lives away from home. I found a quote from Dave Dravecky, a pitcher who lost his arm to cancer, that means alot to me right now.

"We can't go back, no matter how much we ache to do so. All we can do is give thanks for what once was, for the good that was there, for the happy times that were had, for the laughter, for the love, for the memories that were shared. Then, saying goodbye to those times and to those loved ones, we can put our hand in the hand of Him who gave orbit to the sun and the moon and the stars, and trust that he has a course for our lives as well."

Lookin' Good!

I went to my therapist yesterday for the first of three massages this week to reduce the swelling in my hand. It appears that the night time compression is really helping my hand and my arm. She measured me in several places, and said that my hand and arm are the smallest they have been! I also have less fibrosis - some around my elbow and a small amount on my inner forearm, but a lot of it has disappeared. I have really tried to be faithful to my massage at home, exercises, and compression. She still thinks I will wear this for life, but I continue to ask God differently, while working as if I will.
Last night, Katie had her final piano recital. She has played for ten years. She played Song of India by Rimsky Korsakov, and it was beautiful.
I will always associate this song with this year, along with Vivaldi's Spring and Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue. I don't know how many hours I've been on the couch while Katie's playing soothed my spirits as I rested. All the girls have played, and for years we have had piano music in the afternoons at our house. I will miss that next year - I'll have to pop in some classical CDs.
My mom and dad and Sarah came to the recital, along with Bryan and I, and afterwards we got dessert. It was a pleasant evening. At home Sarah and Katie spent some time together - it is always nice to hear them "hanging out". I treasure these next few months we have together before Katie leaves for college and Sarah gets married.
Emily e-mailed, and she is having a great time in Greece! I can't wait to see her pictures and hear her stories.
The plastic surgeon's office called today, and it looks like I will have my repair surgery the week of June 23rd. I am SO ready to get this taken care of. I think I will feel like a different person afterward.
Thanks so much for all your continued acts of thoughtfulness towards me, and always for those prayers!
Jan

New Compression!

Yesterday my second sleeve and gauntlet were delivered to my door. My therapist took these measurements and ordered through another company. I wish we had done this in November! They are a perfect fit. Today I visited the therapist to get my night time compression. It is a "puffy" sleeve that just velcros around my arm, and then I pull a tighter, thin fabric in the shape of my arm over it. I also wear an isotoner gauntlet off the shelf from Gould's Medical Supply with it to keep my hand compressed. It is going to save me so much time not wrapping nightly and rewinding bandages every day! It is a funny thing to look forward to, but I am actually looking forward to trying it out tonight.
The swelling in my hand is worse, so I have three appointments next week for massage therapy to see if we can reduce the swelling.
On the home front - Sarah has moved back home until her wedding, so we are enjoying her company. She also brought her whippet, Oni (rhymes with phony), with her, and we are enjoying Oni, too. Oni loves our fenced back yard. Sarah did not have one with her apartment.
Emily leaves for Greece tomorrow and returns May 15th with the UL Honors Program. I am so excited for her! We have her itinerary on the fridge, and I plan to keep a map of Greece in the kitchen so I can follow her journey.
After my appointment today, Mom treated me to a movie (she also treated me to lunch beforehand). We saw Expelled. It is a documentary about evolution vs. intelligent design, and I think it is a must see!
Katie has completed all her paperwork and medical forms, shots, etc. for Anderson generally and for the nursing program specifically. All that remains for her to do is pack in August.
One extra prayer request: my dad had double pneumonia last month, and it left scar tissue on his lungs. The doctors are warning that he needs to be extra careful from now on and see them at the first sign of cough, sore throat, fever. Please pray that he will manage his health wisely, and not overdo - those of you who know my dad know that he loves to be busy, so it is hard for him to take the time to rest.
Thanks for prayers!
Jan

Prayer Requests

I know I sound like a broken record, but I am requesting continued prayer for:

- abdominal pain and my upcoming surgery - It is hard to walk around much, even wearing a binder, and I still require pain medication, which I would love to be free of, so that I could drive again and get some independence back. I miss hopping in the car when I want or need something. Surgery will happen after my vacation - I'm not missing England! I'm also praying that I will be recovered for Katie's college move - August 28th and Sarah's wedding - September 13th.

- strength - It is slowly coming, but I want to be able to "do" graduation and keep up with my family in England - this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for us.

- learning to deal with my arm - I am realizing that I will deal with lymphedema for the rest of my life, and it hits me hard some days. Some women wear compression 24/7 for life; others only when the swelling flares up - I am asking God if I could be in the second category. I am trying to be consistent with my massage, exercises and compression, and I am learning to cook with latex gloves on and to deal with other ways to handle day to day situations with my "different" right arm and hand. I don't currently have full function in my hand or my elbow.

-depression - I have some bouts with this due to the issues above, plus the tamoxifen intentionally throws me into menopause to get rid of any remaining estrogen in my body. I guess the bright side is that I will get all of this finished at one time!

Thanks so much for remembering me.
Jan

My sleeve/gauntlet

Several have asked about the sleeve and gauntlet, and I realized I forgot to post the outcome! I have a sleeve and gauntlet that are not perfect, but "doable", and I am ordering a modified second set. This time I am ordering through another vendor, hopefully with better results. I will also get my night time compression wear in about three weeks or so.
I will be six weeks out of radiation Friday, at which time I am supposed to start feeling better. I still have a great lack of energy, but I am trying to be as "normal" as I can.
Bryan, Katie and I went to Thunder last Saturday, but booked a hotel room in case I could not stay outdoors for long. We ran into my sister, her husband, and my nephew, who were there with another married couple and a friend of my nephew's, and I did manage to stay out the whole evening. Even though it was freezing cold, my brother-in-law had all kinds of outdoor gadgets in a backpack. He made us popcorn, cocoa, cider, and even furnished a tarp that we could all fit under when it began to rain! I loved the evening, but was glad to get the the hotel and straight to bed. The next two days I had zero energy, but it was fun.
This past week was spring break, so we got back to work yesterday. Sunday I made out Katie's lesson plans for the remainder of the year - my last plans of 17 years of homeschooling! It has really gotten me to thinking about how different my life will be next year. I am hoping to have the energy to return to school - I have registered for two classes. I also hope to begin swimming again, but I am not sure if I can resume mandolin with the gauntlet. I will have to play around with it at home and see how I do.
Katie has decided as of today to attend Anderson University. She will move there August 28th.
Sarah is moving home this weekend to save money until the wedding. She will move out by September 13th, her wedding date. We will truly be empty nesters at that point, and I will need to stay very busy and make a "new" life for myself. The only negative about homeschooling is that you lose your children and your job at the same time! Pray for me to be able to look forward more than I look back, and pray that I will find the next "call" for my life. I always felt that I was "called" to homeschool, which kept us going through through times of adversity. I have no regrets except that it went by too quickly.
This month and May I will finish prep for Katie's graduation. We have 24 graduates. The ceremony will be held in the chapel at SECC on the evening of May 28th, with a reception to follow in the Fellowship Hall.
The next day we leave for our last "field trip" - the whole family is going to England and Scotland for 12 days! It will also be our last family vacation together before Sarah gets married. I am praying for energy to enjoy the trip with everyone. I am very excited about going.
Thanks as always for your prayers, e-mails, cards, letters, and calls.
Jan

Wedding Dress Shopping

Today Katie and I joined Sarah as she began shopping for her dress. She looked absolutely beautiful in everything she tried on! We also enjoyed lunch together at WW Cousins between bridal shops. Just seeing her so happy today made all that surgery, chemo, and radiation worth it - just to be with her at such a happy time.

Anniversary/Wedding Date/Surgery/Sleeve

We celebrated my parents' 50th wedding anniversary last Sunday with an open house at Nunnlea. It was lots of fun.
Sarah and Paul have set their wedding date for September 13th. They are getting married and having the reception at Blackacre Nature Preserve. We drove out to look at it after the anniversary open house, and it is really beautiful.
I visited my plastic surgeon last week about the abdominal pain/swelling I am having, and he informed me that I would need another surgery to correct the situation. It involves an overnight stay, mesh, a drain to come home with, and a lengthy recovery. I will not have the surgery until June, after Katie's graduation and our vacation, which has been scheduled for months, with plane tickets already purchased. I am hoping to be back to "normal" by Sarah's wedding.
I also visited my oncologist and began my five years of taking Tamoxifen this week.
I picked up my compression garments today, and will see my lymphedema specialist next Thursday to have them approved. Two of the fingers seem a little snug, but a week's wear may improve the situation.
I feel like I am starting to regain some energy from the radiation. I still nap a lot, but I am able to do more during the day.
Jan

Easter

We had such a great Easter. The girls all came and went with us to the 3:00 Saturday service, and we went to Olive Garden for dinner. Afterward, Emily and Katie went to a friend's wedding, and Sarah went home to pack up Oni to bring her out to the house. The girls brought a couple of movies, and we all watched together. Everyone spent the night - this is one of my favorite things, to have everyone under the same roof!
Katie and Emily put together breakfast casserole for the morning, and Bryan got up to put it in the oven, along with his famous "big daddy biscuits". We also had a fruit tray with the meal, after the girls were given their Easter baskets. No matter how old they are, they still like chocolate.
We went to Mom's for the afternoon for a delicious dinner - ham, deviled eggs, and lots of good side dishes. The younger ones had an Easter egg hunt, and we also celebrated some birthdays - Caden, Savannah, Jessica and Jarrod. It was a great time, but I had to stay home from pageant that night - too much fun had been had.
I have also missed a couple of nights this week due to losing my voice, but I will go Friday - the last night - voice or not. It has been fun, and I will miss it.
I am still waiting for my compression garments to come in - maybe Friday!
Jan

Remeasuring

I am being remeasured Tuesday -- this is really starting to get to me. Pray for a fit. The head of the business is measuring me this time, so hopefully it will go better.
Please pray for continued pain and fatigue. I am having a hard time visualizing being any different than I am right now. It has been almost 8 months since my surgery.
Jan

Asking for prayer for family members

My dad has been diagnosed with double pneumonia. Please pray for a full recovery! We are hosting a fiftieth wedding anniversary party for my parents on March 3oth - I would love for Dad to be well and be able to enjoy it.

Also, my niece, Savannah, age 3, has been hospitalized for influenza. I kept her until my diagnosis, and I love her as if she were my own. Please pray also for strength for her parents, Jennifer and Van, and for protection for her brother, Hudson, from getting influenza, too.

My sleeve was shipped yesterday from Germany, and should arrive Wednesday or Thursday - I'm praying for a perfect fit!

One more prayer request: Katie needs to make her final decision about college and mail her scholarship acceptance papers before May 1st. It is now between Anderson University or UL. Please pray that she will choose wisely and then will be content with her decision.

I am singing backstage at the Easter Pageant, and tonight was Guest Night - a dress rehearsal with guests. Tomorrow is the actual opening night. It takes all my energy to do this, but it helps me to feel "normal" and that I am returning to something that I did before my diagnosis.

As always, thanks for your prayers, cards, calls, etc.

Jan

Last Radiation Tomorrow!

At 10 am I will finish the last of 33 radiations. I will miss the girls who give me my treatments - they have been so kind.

The next step is to get this lymphedema under control. I think radiation has aggravated it, so I am looking forward to seeing what happens as the effects of radiation leave my body.

I am hearing from others that six months to a year is the expected time for full energy to return after radiation.

I was listening to the birds outside this am, and I realized that I have spent almost a full year in this process. I first found the lump on May 15, and I have spent almost four seasons in treatment so far. My recovery will go into the fall. It has been a long road, and I am glad to be so far along on the path.

Please pray for my arm - it is the most difficult part of this for me to deal with right now. It is also the reason I do not write as much - the bandaging makes it difficult to type.
Thanks, Jan

a step back

The gauntlet is fine; now the sleeve is too tight - back to remeasuring and reordering. This is getting to be rougher than any of the treatments. I may need to go back to wrapping. Pray for my patience. Also, I would appreciate prayer for some strength and less pain. Thanks! Jan

It's Here!

The gauntlet has arrived and I am wearing it as I type. It seems fine to me, but it has to pass the therapist's inspection Thursday.
I haven't written much on the blog lately, being one-handed (as I was wrapped).
As of this evening, I have seven radiations remaining. I am hoping to regain some energy by the first week or so of April. I have been told by those who have been there that it will be six months before I fully recover from radiation, which will be just in time for Sarah's and Paul's wedding - they are looking at October or possibly the first week of November.
Six months post radiation is when I will also be able to finish any revisions on my plastic surgery. I will work it around the wedding. I want to feel my best for the "big day"!
I have been battling the blues with the fatigue, dark and dreary weather, and some continued pain. Last week Katie had the flu all week, and boy, were we a pair of couch potatoes. Thankfully, she is on the mend. I am hoping that the end of radiation and better weather will lift my spirits. Thanks for continued prayers and cards!
Jan

Patience!

I called today to check on the status of my gauntlet - ordered a week ago Monday, only to find out that my order had been lost and that they will start the process of making it tomorrow. I am SO frustrated with being wrapped while I wait and wait and wait. I did ask for the manager, and they are going to have it for me a week from Monday. Please pray for my patience and that the gauntlet will be a good fit when it arrives.

Engagement Announcement!

Our oldest daughter, Sarah Elizabeth Veal, is engaged! Her fiance, Paul Disney IV, came by this afternoon, all dressed up and looking very handsome, to ask our permission and to give us a glimpse of the ring. He then took her to LeRelais for dinner, where he proposed. Sarah called us about 10:30 this evening to say that she had accepted. Paul is a fine young Christian man, and we are so happy for them both!
Jan

Still Hunting and Pecking!

The radiation is going well, but I am much more tired than I thought I would be. I am not good for much until about noon each day, and my bedtime is early, too. I guess it is the combo of still having chemo in my body, not being totally well from my surgery (I keep hearing that it is a one-year recovery for a double tram flap procedure), the complication of the lymphedema, and daily radiation, M-F. I am slightly disappointed, because I thought I would be flying around in my mini-van by this point, but no - more lessons in patience!
I have started singing with the choir again, which is a pick-me-up, and I am working on graduation and my parents' 50th anniversary, although my sisters are doing the bulk of the work on this.
I also have just a little bit of dark fuzz on my head - you have to look closely.
Finally, Bryan and I drove by Krispy Kreme the other night, and the "hot" sign was on. We stopped and got some hot glazed doughnuts - and they tasted GOOOOOOD! I love having nearly normal taste buds!

Let's Make a Deal

My lymphedema therapist allows me to take off my wraps once a day in order to take a shower!!! It is the highlight of my day - says volumes about my life right now. I just had to learn how to wrap myself, which was not hard. I'm still hunting and pecking, so this is again brief. I have finished 7/33 radiations.
Jan

Three More Weeks

It was determined yesterday that the gauntlet was measured incorrectly....so Monday I go to be measured AGAIN - hopefully third time's a charm. In the meantime, I have to remain wrapped - groan - for the three plus weeks it will take for a new gauntlet to be made and shipped. I am trying to "be patient in affliction", but I am having many lapses - translate "tears"!
Radiation is going well, but I am very tired - more than I expected. Thanks for continued cards, e-mails, and prayers.
BTW, taste buds seem to be back for the most part, but not the hair!

Still Wrapping

The first week of radiation is going well, but I am still wrapped, trying to get my gauntlet and sleeve to fit. Keep praying - and thank you for doing so! This is brief, because I am "hunt and peck" typing - I can't use my right hand to type while wrapped.

Three Steps Forward, One Step Back

I have been marked for radiation, and will start tomorrow. I really like the doctor and staff at the radiation center, and I am not dreading radiation at all. I think it will be much easier than anything I've done so far.
My port was successfully removed yesterday, and I am recovering today. I am fortunate to have a Christian surgeon who always comes to pray with me in pre-op. I am a little sore, but nothing out of the ordinary, and I am glad to be port-free.
My custom made sleeve and glove came in, and I was very excited that they had arrived. My mom drove me to pick them up after my surgery and I put them them on. By the time we got home (30 minutes) my fingers were purple and my entire hand was numb. Soooo. . . . tomorrow I will have to be wrapped again to bring my arm and hand down to size so that the new garments will fit.
Tomorrow I visit the lymph specialist, the radiation center, and the plastic surgeon - busy day!
Please pray that this wrapping tomorrow will be successful. The last time it took about 48 hours to get the swelling reduced. I am hopeful that it will be about the same this time. The wrapping is tight, which is uncomfortable, and bulky, which makes it hard for me to do much. I also have to protect it from getting wet, which means "wearing" a kitchen trash bag for showers!
The highlight of my week was last night. All three girls were here. Katie (with some help from Sarah) made a delicious dinner, and all three girls made homeade cookies. After dinner, we all spent some time together before the older two headed home. It is always a blessing to have the whole family here - it feels like a holiday even on a cold Wednesday in January! Bryan and I both see the girls as three of the greatest blessings of our lives.
Emily travels to Murray this weekend for a Bible Study with some girls from the Baptist Campus Ministries - please pray for traveling mercies.

The Rollercoaster

I feel like I am on a rollercoaster, both physically and emotionally. I could do almost nothing Monday and Tuesday, but felt better Wednesday, so I went back to choir for the first time. I want to sing backstage at the Easter Pageant this year. I enjoyed seeing everyone, but boy did I ever crash on Thursday. By Friday evening I felt well enough to celebrate Sarah's birthday (she is 24 on Monday) at the Bristol with our family. Then I woke up this morning totally drained again and did nothing until time for church. I am hoping to have more energy tomorrow. I think my expectations were very high - too high - for regaining my strength after chemo. I pictured driving myself to next week's doctor's appointments and just being able to do more. It does not look like this is going to happen, so once again, I have lined up drivers. I don't know what I would do without Katie, Bryan and my mom to take me to all these appointments!
I have realized that I am going to have to continue to be very patient about the healing process, and this is hard for me to accept.
I am also very teary - I am guessing that is a result of the loss of estrogen in my body over a very short period of time, plus the accumulated frustration of six months of this process with the end still months away. I have days that I cry off and on almost all day, and the direst thoughts come to my mind. I really have to work at redirecting my mind, which I usually don't do on my own, but with the help of my family.
I know that I am going to get well, but at a slower rate than I expected.
Thanks for continued prayers, cards, and e-mails.
Jan

Back in the routine

We are home from our trip to Gulf Shores. It was a great trip. We enjoyed the Naval Air Museum and the Estuarium on Dauphin Island since the last time I wrote. We also saw The Waterhorse, a pretty cute movie. I did need to use a wheel chair for our museum and aquarium trips, but my husband says he enjoys "pushing me around"! I also watched my daughters, nephew Zack, and my husband compete playing Guitar Hero, which was fun.
I loved the trip, but so far at home, I am exhausted! It is a 12 hour drive, so I may need a few days to recuperate. I am not 4 weeks out of chemo yet. At 4 - 6 weeks, I am supposed to start seeing some change.
We are back to school. The house is very quiet, as Katie is diligently digging back into school work and working on some scholarship applications. Emily moved back down to campus yesterday, which makes the house even quieter. I am hoping to see Sarah tonight. She was not able to make the trip, so it's been awhile since we have visited.
I have no doctor visits this week, unless my compression garments come in.
My napping/resting is nicer now. It is hard to describe, but I just feel tired, not the yuckiness of feeling the chemo in my system. The taste buds are not back yet, but I keep checking!
Please keep praying for total control of my lymphedema and for the upcoming port removal and beginning of radiation next week. Thanks!
Jan

Happy New Year!

We arrived at Fort Morgan Saturday night after a 12 hour drive, the last of which was in the rain. It rained Sunday, too, so we went to a movie and dinner. Monday was sunny and 65 degrees, so we sat on the beach and read (bundled up) for most of the day and then went to dinner at Lamberts', a restaurant famous for its' "throwed rolls" and country cooking. My dad brought some firewood, so we had a bonfire on the beach for New Year's Eve and did some star-gazing. We shared memories of 2007, and it surprised me how many events surrounding my diagnosis, surgery, and treatments were in some way positive memories for my family. We watched the ball drop in NYC - it happens at 11:00 where we are - and we "hit the hay". New Year's Day has involved watching bowl games, reading, napping, hiking, and shopping. I was the reader and napper!
We are supposed to have record low temps the rest of the week, but we plan to do indoor activities - a museum, an aquarium, etc. I am praying that I will have the energy to do these with my family, even if I have to resort to a wheel chair. I cannot do much walking yet.
Please be in prayer for my lymphedema. I am waiting for garments custom-made for me from Germany, and in the meantime I am wearing loaner garments that are not a great fit. My hand remains swollen despite my best efforts at massage and I wear the garments from the moment I wake up until I go to sleep. The lymphedema specialist has found a hard spot on my forearm, which means at that site the condition is irreversible. Please pray that I can get this under control and that the current damage will be reversible. Also pray that the new garments will arrive quickly and that they will be a good fit.
Also, tomorrow I will be 3 weeks out of chemo. I am looking forward to seeing what happens in the next few weeks - regained energy, less pain, swelling subsiding, hair growing. It is hard not to be impatient at this point to start to return to my "old self", although I know I will never really be my old self. I can't think that anyone who goes through this process is ever the same.
I am SO grateful that I am not going to chemo tomorrow!
Thanks for continued prayers.
Jan