Sarah will have an in-office procedure October 25th at Dr. Hubbard's (the urologist) that should end her physical struggles. She will be anesthetized and will have to take a day off work, but she should recover quickly. On Monday, October 1st, she starts working for Passport Health Care (where my sister Becky works) as a communications representative in the provider relations department. She will design brochures and write different types of communications, which is a good fit for her. Please pray that she will recover quickly and be able to adapt well to her new situation.
Thanks, Jan
Friday, September 28, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
While I Was Sleeping
Chemo #2 made me tired almost right away. I came home from lunch with Bryan and Katie and headed for the recliner.
When I awoke several hours later, Bryan told me that Sarah (who was on her way to a church camping trip with friends) had stopped in Shelbyville, where her battery died. While she was talking to Bryan, she felt like she was going to pass out, so she hung up and went into the Flying J, finding her boyfriend just in time to ...pass out. As her car was not running, she went by ambulance to the Jewish Emergency Center in Shelbyville, where she was treated and released for an ongoing UTI. She is still not well. She will see a urologist tomorrow to determine why she can't shake this infection. Please pray that she will heal quickly, as she starts a new job on Monday.
Saturday I gave up my game ticket and slept throughout the day. When Bryan, Katie, and my mother-in-law returned home, they reported that Bryan's car had been broken into at the game, and Katie's purse was stolen, with all of a 17-year-old's treasures: new cellphone from her birthday, gift cards, cash from teaching piano, i-pod, wallet, senior ring, car keys, Bible (with copious Revelation notes), her notes from the Perspectives class she is taking at church, and her new purse.
I continued sleeping through Sunday, Monday, and part of Tuesday. When it started raining Tuesday, I asked Katie to let the dogs in, and we realized our little Yorkie, Dicken, was missing. We found him yesterday in a neighbor's yard - he had been mauled by another neighbor's large dog. The girls are coming out tonight, and we plan to bury him on my parent's property.
Things to be thankful for - this chemo was more tiring, but no bone pain from the shot. Katie's things are just things, and between the insurance company and my sisters and parents, we are working to replace her things. My mom and sister, Becky, both medical people, are helping Sarah with her doctor's appointments - being there with her for moral support. And I know so many are praying - thanks for your messages on the phone and e-mail while I was unable to respond.
I have need for prayer for pain and for fluid that still collects in my abdomen as a result of my surgery. I think it can possibly continue for months, and it is difficult to function sometimes because the fluid buildup becomes so painful as the day wears on. I also have trouble with depression on the chemo days when I can't move. I feel very useless and ugly - not the standard set for women in our society.
Thanks again for continued prayers.
When I awoke several hours later, Bryan told me that Sarah (who was on her way to a church camping trip with friends) had stopped in Shelbyville, where her battery died. While she was talking to Bryan, she felt like she was going to pass out, so she hung up and went into the Flying J, finding her boyfriend just in time to ...pass out. As her car was not running, she went by ambulance to the Jewish Emergency Center in Shelbyville, where she was treated and released for an ongoing UTI. She is still not well. She will see a urologist tomorrow to determine why she can't shake this infection. Please pray that she will heal quickly, as she starts a new job on Monday.
Saturday I gave up my game ticket and slept throughout the day. When Bryan, Katie, and my mother-in-law returned home, they reported that Bryan's car had been broken into at the game, and Katie's purse was stolen, with all of a 17-year-old's treasures: new cellphone from her birthday, gift cards, cash from teaching piano, i-pod, wallet, senior ring, car keys, Bible (with copious Revelation notes), her notes from the Perspectives class she is taking at church, and her new purse.
I continued sleeping through Sunday, Monday, and part of Tuesday. When it started raining Tuesday, I asked Katie to let the dogs in, and we realized our little Yorkie, Dicken, was missing. We found him yesterday in a neighbor's yard - he had been mauled by another neighbor's large dog. The girls are coming out tonight, and we plan to bury him on my parent's property.
Things to be thankful for - this chemo was more tiring, but no bone pain from the shot. Katie's things are just things, and between the insurance company and my sisters and parents, we are working to replace her things. My mom and sister, Becky, both medical people, are helping Sarah with her doctor's appointments - being there with her for moral support. And I know so many are praying - thanks for your messages on the phone and e-mail while I was unable to respond.
I have need for prayer for pain and for fluid that still collects in my abdomen as a result of my surgery. I think it can possibly continue for months, and it is difficult to function sometimes because the fluid buildup becomes so painful as the day wears on. I also have trouble with depression on the chemo days when I can't move. I feel very useless and ugly - not the standard set for women in our society.
Thanks again for continued prayers.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Waking Up in the Middle of a Boxing Ring
This is a quote from Stepping into the Ring by Nicole Johnson. The book was given to me by a friend recently.
"Finding out I had cancer was like going to sleep in my own bed and suddenly waking up in the middle of a boxing ring. Out of the clear blue I am standing toe-to-toe with the Heavyweight Champion of the World, the crowd is looking on, and I am in my pajamas and don't even know how to throw a punch....The only choice was whether or not to go forward. I could keep standing there, literally getting killed, or I could begin to fight back."
My port was placed yesterday, I am black and blue, very sore, and tomorrow is chemo. I feel like the punches are coming too quickly, but I can only move forward if I want to win.
Don't get me wrong; I am thankful that there are medical advances that make it possible to defeat this disease, but none of it is simple or easy, and there is no turning back.
Again, I thank you for your prayers. Please pray that the side effects from tomorrow's chemo will be minimal, God willing. I would ask prayer for my family again, too. I know this is not easy for them.
I'll probably post next when I feel better after Chemo #2 - I will be a third of the way through chemos then! That is something to celebrate.
"Finding out I had cancer was like going to sleep in my own bed and suddenly waking up in the middle of a boxing ring. Out of the clear blue I am standing toe-to-toe with the Heavyweight Champion of the World, the crowd is looking on, and I am in my pajamas and don't even know how to throw a punch....The only choice was whether or not to go forward. I could keep standing there, literally getting killed, or I could begin to fight back."
My port was placed yesterday, I am black and blue, very sore, and tomorrow is chemo. I feel like the punches are coming too quickly, but I can only move forward if I want to win.
Don't get me wrong; I am thankful that there are medical advances that make it possible to defeat this disease, but none of it is simple or easy, and there is no turning back.
Again, I thank you for your prayers. Please pray that the side effects from tomorrow's chemo will be minimal, God willing. I would ask prayer for my family again, too. I know this is not easy for them.
I'll probably post next when I feel better after Chemo #2 - I will be a third of the way through chemos then! That is something to celebrate.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Just a Reminder to Pray Tomorrow
I'm having my port placed at BHE tomorrow. I arrive at the hospital at 12:30 and the procedure is scheduled for 2:30. I think it takes about 30 minutes, and then I will spend an hour or two in the recovery room. Please pray for peace and strength for me - I truly feel the power of your prayers and it does make a difference.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Assignment: Fun
I was told by my oncologist, Dr. Janelle Seeger, that she expected me to do something fun between each treatment, and that she would be asking me what I had done.
Katie turned seventeen on Friday. Sarah arranged for us to eat dinner at an Italian restaurant in the Highlands called Le Gallo Rosso. I don't speak Italian, but I am told that this means "the red chicken". We were joined by Paul Disney, Sarah's boyfriend, and Whitney Ott, Katie's best friend.
Paul's mother, Nancy Disney, was kind enough to bake Katie's birthday cake, which we enjoyed after dinner at home, and we were welcomed home to a yard full of balloons "planted" by Anne Jones and family.
On Sunday, the birthday celebration continued at my parents' home. They live on twelve acres with a two-acre lake outside of JTown, and we have parties in their back field in the fall and spring. We celebrated Katie's birthday again, in addition to my daughter Emily's (20), my niece Whitney's (21) and my Mom's (not telling). In addition to Bryan and I, my parents, my three sisters, two of their husbands (one was straggling home from the UK/UL game), a son-in-law (Becky's), a prospective son-in-law (also Becky's), and twelve grandchildren were in attendance. My brother-in-law, Wendell, grilled out, and we had a bonfire, too. The kids played in the field and on the tractor and rode around in cousin Zack's new Jeep. It was a beautiful, relaxing day!
Sarah joined Katie and me in watching a movie afterwards at home.
There is nothing like being with family!
Katie turned seventeen on Friday. Sarah arranged for us to eat dinner at an Italian restaurant in the Highlands called Le Gallo Rosso. I don't speak Italian, but I am told that this means "the red chicken". We were joined by Paul Disney, Sarah's boyfriend, and Whitney Ott, Katie's best friend.
Paul's mother, Nancy Disney, was kind enough to bake Katie's birthday cake, which we enjoyed after dinner at home, and we were welcomed home to a yard full of balloons "planted" by Anne Jones and family.
On Sunday, the birthday celebration continued at my parents' home. They live on twelve acres with a two-acre lake outside of JTown, and we have parties in their back field in the fall and spring. We celebrated Katie's birthday again, in addition to my daughter Emily's (20), my niece Whitney's (21) and my Mom's (not telling). In addition to Bryan and I, my parents, my three sisters, two of their husbands (one was straggling home from the UK/UL game), a son-in-law (Becky's), a prospective son-in-law (also Becky's), and twelve grandchildren were in attendance. My brother-in-law, Wendell, grilled out, and we had a bonfire, too. The kids played in the field and on the tractor and rode around in cousin Zack's new Jeep. It was a beautiful, relaxing day!
Sarah joined Katie and me in watching a movie afterwards at home.
There is nothing like being with family!
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Could Use Some Prayer
I'm just feeling very weary/teary tonight.
I am trying to keep up with Katie's senior year. She is working very hard. We picked up her senior pictures today and they are gorgeous! She is so good about doing her work diligently without complaining, but I like to keep up by reading what she is reading, etc. and I sometimes find it hard to do because of fatigue and pain. I'm so glad that she is with me this year - I think we will have a "lifetime bond" over our experiences together this year that will strengthen our mother/daughter relationship.
I want to do the basics, like some laundry and meal prep, which just means putting in the frozen meals we have been given. Even these small things tire me.
I am having a port put in next week, Wednesday, September 19,at Baptist Hospital East and I am just not wanting to return to the O.R. there, even for something small.
Everyone has been so kind to pray and help in practical ways, but the road ahead just looks very long to me right now. I appreciate every call, e-mail, card, etc. more than you can know. Sometimes it is what gets me through the day.
I would especially covet your prayers for peace for next Wednesday, and for Friday when I get my second chemotherapy treatment. I would also like for you to pray that the pain from my surgery would start to subside. I am still having to take quite a bit of pain medication, and I would like to be able to cut back on that.
Again, thanks so much for your prayers and expressions of love.
Jan
I am trying to keep up with Katie's senior year. She is working very hard. We picked up her senior pictures today and they are gorgeous! She is so good about doing her work diligently without complaining, but I like to keep up by reading what she is reading, etc. and I sometimes find it hard to do because of fatigue and pain. I'm so glad that she is with me this year - I think we will have a "lifetime bond" over our experiences together this year that will strengthen our mother/daughter relationship.
I want to do the basics, like some laundry and meal prep, which just means putting in the frozen meals we have been given. Even these small things tire me.
I am having a port put in next week, Wednesday, September 19,at Baptist Hospital East and I am just not wanting to return to the O.R. there, even for something small.
Everyone has been so kind to pray and help in practical ways, but the road ahead just looks very long to me right now. I appreciate every call, e-mail, card, etc. more than you can know. Sometimes it is what gets me through the day.
I would especially covet your prayers for peace for next Wednesday, and for Friday when I get my second chemotherapy treatment. I would also like for you to pray that the pain from my surgery would start to subside. I am still having to take quite a bit of pain medication, and I would like to be able to cut back on that.
Again, thanks so much for your prayers and expressions of love.
Jan
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
No Hair Day
Today when I arrived at Changes Hair Salon to have my head shaved, I was joined by my Mom, sisters Jennifer, MaryAnn, Becky, and my daughter Sarah (left to right around me in the second picture on the right, sporting my new wig!) My mom and sisters wore their "do rags" in support of my new look. (I'm so glad they didn't shave their heads!).Terri Metzler is my stylist, and she did a great job of giving me a buzz haircut and helping me to fit my wig. Mom, Sarah and sisters kept the shop conversation lively so there were no tears. The girls have dubbed me "G.I. Jan" after the "G.I. Jane" look that Demi Moore popularized a few years ago. After we finished at the salon, Mom treated us all to brunch at Cracker Barrel (top photo). All in all, it wasn't too bad - a great family can make even tough times fun!
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Accepting Fatigue
Following my little burst of energy to go out to dinner with Bryan, I relapsed into a fatigue that has remained. My friends who have gone through this type of chemo tell me that the second week is better, and that they feel almost normal the third week before the next treatment is given.
I have never lived my life in a way that required a nap between breakfast and my morning shower (except maybe as an infant) but that has been the routine this week. I may have an hour of energy followed by an hour of sleep that goes pretty much throughout the day.
Needless to say, I did not go to the Cards game Thursday night. I did stay awake through about an hour of it, and I knew that Bryan would wake me up if Hunter got to play. Fortunately the UK/UL game is away and only on TV for us next week, so the pressure is off to try to go anywhere for that game!
I went out for ice cream Friday evening compliments of my sister Jennifer - I am beginning to categorize ice cream as a food group of its own.
I went to church Saturday night for the first hour, and then went with Bryan, Katie and my mother-in-law, Jean, to Fazolis. The fettucine alfredo tasted almost normal!
By the way, if you see me pass on the communion plate at church, I have not committed an unpardonable sin - it's the immunity "thing". I'm also not too quick to shake hands or hug, although I have not given in to wearing the mask yet.
I may not be back in choir until spring, due to fatigue and immunity issues, but I am excited about being a part of the backstage choir for the 2008 Easter Pageant.
I do miss my library science coursework and look forward to beginning that again, maybe in the spring.
Fortunately for me, my life does not require much of me this fall semester. Katie completes her schoolwork for the most part on her own and discusses her work with me, and I am in the process of writing out her plans through December before my next treatment so that we will not risk getting behind. I am also working on the Southeast Homeschool Graduation as I can, mostly compiling information at this point. Fortunately, not much happens for that event until after the new year, at which time my energy levels (and hair) should begin to return.
Not much is required of me as a homemaker, either. My freezer is literally filled with meals from friends, we have a basket of gift cards, and Bryan and Katie have become an efficient housecleaning/laundry/grocery shopping team. It has been fun watching them "bond". My mom, Bryan or Katie drive me wherever I need to go.
The treatments to cure this disease I think are particularly hard on women in our society, who are valued by our culture for their beauty and productivity. I have to keep two scriptures in mind:
For beauty -
I Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
For productivity -
Micah 6:8 -
He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?
I am daily learning to humble myself before this fatique and the changes in my appearance.
As always, thanks for your thoughts and prayers.
Jan
I have never lived my life in a way that required a nap between breakfast and my morning shower (except maybe as an infant) but that has been the routine this week. I may have an hour of energy followed by an hour of sleep that goes pretty much throughout the day.
Needless to say, I did not go to the Cards game Thursday night. I did stay awake through about an hour of it, and I knew that Bryan would wake me up if Hunter got to play. Fortunately the UK/UL game is away and only on TV for us next week, so the pressure is off to try to go anywhere for that game!
I went out for ice cream Friday evening compliments of my sister Jennifer - I am beginning to categorize ice cream as a food group of its own.
I went to church Saturday night for the first hour, and then went with Bryan, Katie and my mother-in-law, Jean, to Fazolis. The fettucine alfredo tasted almost normal!
By the way, if you see me pass on the communion plate at church, I have not committed an unpardonable sin - it's the immunity "thing". I'm also not too quick to shake hands or hug, although I have not given in to wearing the mask yet.
I may not be back in choir until spring, due to fatigue and immunity issues, but I am excited about being a part of the backstage choir for the 2008 Easter Pageant.
I do miss my library science coursework and look forward to beginning that again, maybe in the spring.
Fortunately for me, my life does not require much of me this fall semester. Katie completes her schoolwork for the most part on her own and discusses her work with me, and I am in the process of writing out her plans through December before my next treatment so that we will not risk getting behind. I am also working on the Southeast Homeschool Graduation as I can, mostly compiling information at this point. Fortunately, not much happens for that event until after the new year, at which time my energy levels (and hair) should begin to return.
Not much is required of me as a homemaker, either. My freezer is literally filled with meals from friends, we have a basket of gift cards, and Bryan and Katie have become an efficient housecleaning/laundry/grocery shopping team. It has been fun watching them "bond". My mom, Bryan or Katie drive me wherever I need to go.
The treatments to cure this disease I think are particularly hard on women in our society, who are valued by our culture for their beauty and productivity. I have to keep two scriptures in mind:
For beauty -
I Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
For productivity -
Micah 6:8 -
He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?
I am daily learning to humble myself before this fatique and the changes in my appearance.
As always, thanks for your thoughts and prayers.
Jan
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Thanks, Kind Friend!
Last night I felt that I had enough energy to leave the house with Bryan for a dinner close by. We live down the street from a Cracker Barrel, and thought there would be enough variety on the menu for something to taste good to me. I did indulge in a couple of vegetables and a biscuit or two and they tasted good. Almost as soon as we had placed our order, one of the other servers came over and told us that our check had been taken care of by another customer. Thank you, kind friend! It is these acts of kindness that encourage us on this long and unexpected journey.
A visit to the plastic surgeon today confirmed that I am healing on schedule. He did note that chemotherapy would slow the healing process, but all looks good now. I may actually leave the recliner where I have been sleeping since my surgery and return to a regular bed with the help of a wedge.
My diet consists mostly of scrambled eggs, toast, popsicles, and sherbet and ice cream, washed down with plenty of gingerale. I am hoping to want a steady diet of some real food in the next few days.
I received a card from a friend who has been faithful to send me several cards of encouragement. She said that I had been spotted around Southeast periodically when I was able (our church has an attendance of about 20,000) and she compared it to "Elvis sightings" - I got a laugh out of that.
I have to put in a plug for my "day nurse". Katie is faithful to complete her school assignments per my written instructions, in addition to keeping laundry going, caring for pets, going to the grocery, helping with meals and driving me to some of my appointments. This is not the senior year I had in mind for her, but she is proving to be a mature, loving daughter during a difficult time. Sarah and Emily come as often as they can to help out, too.
A visit to the plastic surgeon today confirmed that I am healing on schedule. He did note that chemotherapy would slow the healing process, but all looks good now. I may actually leave the recliner where I have been sleeping since my surgery and return to a regular bed with the help of a wedge.
My diet consists mostly of scrambled eggs, toast, popsicles, and sherbet and ice cream, washed down with plenty of gingerale. I am hoping to want a steady diet of some real food in the next few days.
I received a card from a friend who has been faithful to send me several cards of encouragement. She said that I had been spotted around Southeast periodically when I was able (our church has an attendance of about 20,000) and she compared it to "Elvis sightings" - I got a laugh out of that.
I have to put in a plug for my "day nurse". Katie is faithful to complete her school assignments per my written instructions, in addition to keeping laundry going, caring for pets, going to the grocery, helping with meals and driving me to some of my appointments. This is not the senior year I had in mind for her, but she is proving to be a mature, loving daughter during a difficult time. Sarah and Emily come as often as they can to help out, too.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
I'm Back!
It is Tuesday afternoon, and I am starting to feel like myself again. No nausea, just extreme fatigue. I had a couple of couch potato days, to say the least. The worst part was probably a shot they gave me called Nulasta, which was to boost my immune system. It caused bone pain and flu-like symptoms. Anyway - one down and five to go!
So many of you called and left messages to let me know that you were thinking of and praying for me. I also received a number of cards and e-mails. Thank you so much - I know that I am not in this alone.
There are a few who are routinely sending me cards, and I want you to know that they seem to come at just the right time - God Bless You!
Jan
So many of you called and left messages to let me know that you were thinking of and praying for me. I also received a number of cards and e-mails. Thank you so much - I know that I am not in this alone.
There are a few who are routinely sending me cards, and I want you to know that they seem to come at just the right time - God Bless You!
Jan
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