Radiation

I met with my radiation oncologist yesterday. I will begin radiation on January 14th, which is the same day my oldest daughter turns 24! Actually, I will only get "marked" that day for the radiation and start a few days later. Dr. Stoll says that I will need 33 treatments. I will go every day Monday through Friday and finish in early March. I cannot swim until radiation is over because of the markers, but I plan to start doing some walking to begin to build my strength.
Dr. Seeger, my oncologist, says I will feel better 4 - 6 weeks after the last chemo, so I am hoping to begin driving again and drive myself to the radiation center.
I am also scheduling to get my port out before I start radiation. That will be a good thing. My port is placed in a tight spot and it is sometimes uncomfortable. It also tends to stay bruised. Losing it will be a sign that I am making progress, so I am ready!
The lympedema has subsided considerably, but as soon as my gauntlet (handpiece) that goes with my sleeve arrives, I will be wearing it throughout radiation.
I am still very weak from last week, but hope to get some energy before the next and LAST chemo!

Back from Chemo #5

This chemo seemed to be the worst yet - I don't know why. Today is day 6 and I am just "coming back". This treatment was accompanied by a severe depression. I will need to pray for extra courage to go back on Dec. 12 for the last one.
I did not go to my husband's family on Thanksgiving. I slept through most of the last few days. Sarah did come and spend a couple of nights, and Emily spent a night, too, so I could hear the girls laugh, watch movies, and knit, even if I couldn't participate.
One bonus to the rest was that my lymphedema arm got a great rest, and it looks pretty much like my other arm. I will need to put the sleeve back on as I get active again.
My grandfather also passed away during this chemo. He died Saturday, November 24th about midnight. Please pray for traveling mercies for my parents, who are driving today to Winston-Salem, NC for the funeral. I am sorry not to be able to go.
I think this is harder for me right now because I love to do a big Christmas - I usually bake about 700 cookies for everyone I know, and we cut a live tree and decorate lots. I also send out lots of Christmas cards, and I like choosing just the right gifts for friends and family. I will be "limping along" this Christmas, but several people have reminded me that chemo means that there will be a next Christmas. I just need to look at the end result. Easier said than done.
I am hoping that my girls will be a big help with decorating and baking this year, and I hope to enlist Bryan with some shopping and wrapping.
I am thankful that I am alive and that I do have the hope of many Christmases to come.

More Fun Before Chemo #5

Yesterday was my birthday. In the morning, I got some new clothing - a lymphedema sleeve and glove! In the afternoon, I got a massage - lymphedema instructions and demonstration of how to do the massage at home at least twice weekly! Now how much more fun could a girl have? Oh, and over the phone my dad sang his traditional happy birthday song to me - I wish I could add audio to this entry!
In the evening, Bryan and two of the girls took me out to dinner along with my mother-in-law, Jean. I received some really nice gifts and Sarah brought out her new whippet puppy to meet "Grammy Jan". (I guess that's the best I'll do for a few years in the grandma department - since no one is married, it's a good thing). The puppy is named Oni, which means "wanted" in Egyptian. Sarah got her from a rescue shelter, so it is appropriate.
Tonight my mom and dad took all the sisters out for dinner. Jennifer's birthday is also this week, and Becky's is early in December, so we celebrated three birthdays. MaryAnn will get her own celebration in January. It was fun to visit with my "original" family.
Tomorrow is chemo #5, and I am actually ready. It means the sooner I get to #6, and the sooner I finish. I am told that I will start to feel better four to six weeks after the final chemo, and that I will start to grow hair.
Bryan's brother, Eric, and his wife, Denise, are hosting the Veal Thanksgiving on Thursday, and I plan to go if possible. I usually am able to be up and around a little the day after chemo.
Emily is going to Paducah with Hunter for Thanksgiving. It is the first time one of my girls has been away for a holiday, so it seems a little strange, but I am happy for Hunter. I don't think he has had a Thanksgiving at home with his family since he started playing football for UL. He celebrated with us last year, but he loves his family and is a homebody by nature, so I know he will have a great Thanksgiving this year. Pray for traveling mercies.
Thanks again for calls, cards, e-mails, etc. Not a day goes by but that someone lets me know I'm in his or her thoughts and prayers.
My grandfather is still lingering, but they think his time is near. Please keep the family in your prayers.

Lymphedema/Fun Before Chemo #5

I have had a little bit of a setback. I have been diagnosed with lymphedema, which is a result of having lymph nodes removed from under my right arm during my surgery. Seven of twelve nodes were cancerous; twelve were removed for the testing.
Lymphedema is a condition where the lymph fluids cannot move through the arm correctly - it is like a "traffic jam" of lymph fluid in my right arm and hand. There is no cure for lymphema - it is a lifetime condition that has to be managed to be kept under control. The arm swells and dries out, and if not controlled, the swelling remains permanent and the skin turns hard.
Monday I am to be fitted for a compression sleeve that goes from my shoulder down to my hand with sections that cover my fingers down to my second knuckles. I will also be taught how to do massage therapy to help move the fluids to other parts of my body. I am to wear this sleeve during all waking hours throughout the rest of my chemo and radiation - until March. Then I will try to wean myself from the sleeve. It still needs to be worn when I do housework, gardening, exercising, on long car trips and for airplane travel. I also cannot use hot tubs, saunas, hot baths or hot showers, and heat and sun are to be avoided. Repetitive movements, such as computer, mandolin, and piano may aggravate the condition. Gloves have to be worn for all housework and dishwashing. Any scratches or bug bites have to be reported to the doctor. I can lift nothing over 15 pounds with my right arm. Manicures are out.
Needless to say, I was very discouraged to hear that many of the things I enjoy doing may have to be foregone or at least done only moderately. The specialist told me that some people have to wear these sleeves continually for the rest of their lives, but I am praying that that will not be the case for me. I am hoping that if I wear the sleeve diligently throughout the rest of my treatments, I can get the condition under control and then use the sleeve as needed.
I have had some good cries this weekend, but I am determined to "get over it" and move on and do what I have to do.
Please pray that I will be able to manage this without making the sleeve a permanent part of my everyday life.
On a much lighter note, my fun before chemo #5 is that my mom is having our Thanksgiving tomorrow, on Sunday, when I will have the most energy and the best taste buds. I have my next chemo on Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, so it would be more difficult for me to really enjoy the day. I think it is great of my whole family to do this for me!
Happy Thanksgiving!

Computers!

When I was in elementary and junior high school, the NASA space program was in full swing, and computers were a large part of the program. I remember teachers saying that one day we would all have computers in our home and use them in our everyday lives. I could only picture the huge computers that took up entire rooms in the coverage on NASA, and wondered how something like that could be a part of my everyday life. No one knew anything about the concept of the internet at that time, at least to my knowledge.

Well, this past week I learned that I depend very much on the computer for my everyday life. I woke up Saturday and went to check for Katie's ACT score. We are waiting on that score to add to her transcript, which is stored in our computer, along with her essay and reading lists, and - well, you get the idea - pages of documents. When the score appears online, everything gets printed out and sent to the colleges for "early decision" by December 1st.

I turned on my computer Saturday morning, only to realize that my screen had "died". After speaking with several different sources, it was determined that my best choice was to create an external hard drive with the hard drive from my "dead" computer, purchase a new computer, and move everything over so that Katie's information would be available to send out in a timely way. This pretty much consumed Saturday, but I was grateful that I had the financial resources and the energy to make the switch.

Other news -

Sarah had her procedure today and all went well. She spent last night and will spend tonight with us to rest up. She will return to work on Wednesday.

We are still waiting for news of my grandfather.

My mother-in-law, who has Alzheimer's, has decided of her own accord to move to assisted living. Please pray for my husband and his brothers as they help her find the right facility.

I have developed a case of lymphedema in my right arm. I need to elevate and massage it, and I have been referred to a lymphedema specialist for an evaluation. This is something I will need to learn to manage for the rest of my life because of the lymph nodes that were removed. I am used to doing a lot with my hands, and I like to garden, paint (walls), move furniture, etc. I will have to learn to pace myself and ask for help with these tasks.

It seems that the lessons from breast cancer will continue for a long time.

Thanks for calls, prayers, cards, and e-mails.
Jan

My Grandfather

My dad's dad, Robert Speas, aged 90 years old, has decided as of yesterday to stop his dialysis treatments. He lives in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. He has just come back from the hospital to his nursing facility and he wants no more medical intervention. He is also a diabetic, and was in the hospital for pneumonia.
I met my grandfather for the first time when I was in my early thirties, and all three of my children had been born. He and my grandmother were high school sweethearts who divorced after the birth of my father. We did not meet him until after the death of his second wife.
It was nice to get to know him - he and my dad look so much alike and have many mannerisms in common. Although I did not grow up knowing him as Grandpa, there is a very special place in my heart for him, and he will not be forgotten.
It is difficult for me to think of him lying there and waiting to pass away. I ask that you would pray for him and his family (he had two sons by his second marriage). I would especially ask for prayer that he has accepted or will accept Christ as his Savior.
Thanks,
Jan

Home from Chemo #4!

Four down and two to go. I am headed to the couch shortly. I take steroids the day before, the day of, and the day after each chemo, and I think they give me a little extra energy. Bryan and I have rented two movies (optimistically, maybe?) for the evening. They're due back in a week, so it's OK if I can't keep my eyes open tonight.

Katie is leaving this afternoon to camp out overnight with a group (some homeschool friends and her cousin Zack Murphy under the supervision of Denise/Daryl Manias and David/Lisa Baird) at Mammoth Cave, and to do the Wild Cave Tour tomorrow. It is a challenge she has been wanting to take for a couple of years. Please pray for traveling mercies and safety in the cave for the group. She will return home tomorrow evening, and I am looking forward to hearing all about her adventures.

On a (very) sad note: I just found out that a granddaughter (Makayla) of a choir member died Thursday night after a long battle with cancer. She was 7 years old. I know that the family would appreciate your prayers.

I may also be contacting the daughter of a friend of another choir member with her permission. This daughter has had a double mastectomy and feels "worthless". Please pray that if this opportunity occurs, that I will have the right words to say. This is the first time I will have talked with someone who needs encouragement. I have received so much, that I want to be able to help someone else if I can. It will probably help me more than it will her.
Jan

Fun #2 Before Chemo #4

My sister, MaryAnn Halloway, hosts a family party at her home every year on Halloween. They live in a large neighborhood and lots of kids go door-to-door. MaryAnn and Tony serve chili to the family, we all bring a side dish and EVERYONE dresses up. Some of the grownups go door-to-door with the trick-or-treaters, and some grownups stay at the house to hand out candy. When everyone returns, we eat chili and hang out for the evening. The photo at the top is Katie's carved pumpkin from the patch we visited on Sunday. The photo below the pumpkin is of our family - Katie (teen girl), Bryan (strange dentist), me (G.I. Jane), Paul (cobweb guy), Sarah (cat), Emily (queen chess piece), and Hunter (knight chess piece).

This picture is of my sisters and me - Becky (Mr. Peanut), MaryAnn (Thing 1 - Dr. Seuss) Jennifer (Thing 2 - Dr. Seuss), and me (G.I. Jan). The cute centipede in the foreground is Savannah, my niece that I kept full-time from the time she was six weeks old until June of this year - she is a sweetie and I miss her. The "old woman" sitting on the porch to hand out candy is my dad! (And you thought they saw strange things out at Waverly Hills!)

I go tomorrow for Chemo #4, and I would give anything not to go another round. My fatigue seems to be cumulative and without a break. I continue to get irritated by my ability to do not much more than sleep. I still have some pain from my surgery, and I cry alot out of frustration at my situation and from some depression. But as I looked around at my family last night, I realized that this is why I went through surgery, why I will go through chemo, and why I will go through radiation. I want to enjoy many more years with this wonderful family with which God has blessed me.

Thanks for your prayers, cards, e-mails, and calls.

Jan