My son, attend to my words; consent and submit to my sayings. Let them not depart from your sight; keep them in the center of your heart. For they are life to those who find them, healing and health to all their flesh. Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 4:20-23

Thursday, June 18, 2009

An Anniversary

Tomorrow, June 19th, will be the second anniversary of my diagnosis of breast cancer. I could not have imagined at that time that it would change my life forever.
I am cancer-free and grateful to have seen Sarah and Paul's wedding, Katie's transition to college, Emily's graduation from college and her engagement to Hunter.
I still grieve the loss of my "old body". The lymphedema in my arm, back, chest, trunk, and abdomen is painful and tiring, and limits many of the things that I loved to do before. My fatique is still with me - I still rest after showering and dressing before I continue with my day. My day-to-day lifestyle is totally different than what it was before.
Also, during my illness, all of my girls left home and I finished 17 years of homeschooling, so as I began to recover, many of the constants in my life were gone.
I am still praying and searching that God will show me some purpose for this new body with all its limitations. I believe I was saved for a purpose, but I am not sure what that purpose is.
I am planning to take one course online towards my MLS this fall and see if I think that God still has that in mind for me. I also have some writing - homeschooling and fiction (not in the same manuscript!) that I plan to continue working on.
Thanks so much for your love, support, and prayers over the last two years. I could not have made it without the kindnesses of so many people.
Jan

Friday, June 5, 2009

Our Family Vacation

We had a great time in the Tetons, Yellowstone, and Jackson, Wyoming last week. There were four of us: Emily, Katie, Bryan and me. We hiked a couple of days, took a raft 10 miles down the Snake River, rode to the top of one of the mountains on a tram, took in a cowboy dinner/show, saw the geysers and the falls in Yellowstone and lots of wildlife everywhere. We stayed in a cabin in the Tetons, which was roomy and a good quiet option - no TV, phone, internet for a week. I had a great time, but it wore me out! I am just recovering in time to go to the beach with my mom, sisters, and the cousins tomorrow. Hopefully I will rest more there.
I am struggling alot with truncal swelling. I have stretched the fascia, but the swelling still goes to the point where it is painful. It is frustrating and I am trying to find ways to cope with it, but I have had a difficult week with it this week. I think part of my frustration is fatique from the last trip. I plan to continue my exercises at the beach and my water therapy to try to get it under control. I struggle with hope as there seems to be no end to the lymphedema and the fatique and pain it causes.
Jan